It’s like they only want me to focus on school and the school work . Yah I know school first and everything but I would like to join things at school , that’s good for school right ? They know I’m in a club and there’s a meeting every week , but to them it’s just me staying after school as an excuse to hang out with friends . It really bugs me when they think that . But it’s whatever . Anyways , I made the Precision team at school and I told my parents and they weren’t really happy or proud of me , I felt like they didn’t care and won’t be supportive . Sometimes I wish my parents could just understand me .

Ugh I’m so fucking stupid !

I’m at that point again , where I just wanna lay in bed and just break down .

I thought maybe if I told you , you would feel exactly the same but no . Well I understand .

I could careless about you . Don’t expect anything from me .

My lil niece is only in the 5th or 6th grade , I always seem to forget . But anyways , I was spending a day with her and other family members . Her aunt complimented on how pretty she is and she comes back with I’m hideous , that was the saddest thing to hear from her . I don’t want my niece to think she’s not pretty . I told her she’s not hideous , I told her she’s beautiful . She’s a young girl and I don’t want her to have low self esteem . I didn’t get to give her I guess a ” lecture ” , but I wanted to talk to her about looks but didn’t get a chance . I will definitely next time . I honestly don’t like hearing about young girls thinking they are ugly or hideous . It’s sad . Everyone is beautiful in their own way , and if society or people can’t accept that , then no one will feel accepted in this world . Which leads to so many problems . Everyone is beautiful .

I feel so pressured now , being the youngest girl in the family and will be the last one to leave this house . My oldest sister is already out of the house and my older sister is about to move out and it will just be me left . The only girl , my lil brother and oldest brother are still here but they don’t do a lot around the house . I feel so pressured now cuz i have sooooo much more responsibility . I’m not complaining , i just dont like feeling pressured , it just makes me more stressed and makes me think negative . I know im older now , turning 18 this year and that this is life , i just wish it wasnt happening all so fast .

Like I said it’s whatever .

I just wish I could say ” I’m satisfied and happy with my life right now ” but I can’t cuz I’m not really satisfied or happy .